I help parents feel more confident handling the challenges of parenting. Some challenges are common everyday issues, others are signs of deeper trouble, but they all have this in common: they improve when the relationship of the child to the parent is strengthened and deepened.
This is not a medical ‘disorder’ model; rather, it looks at the child in the context of relationships.
Problems are often the result of something awry in the child’s relationship with parents; my goal is to help you bring the relationship back into alignment. This approach looks for and treats causes, rather than suppresses symptoms.
A wide range of difficulties can be addressed using this approach, with children of all ages. Some straightforward issues can be resolved in one or two consults. Other deeper or longer-standing problems may take more time. I work with parents only, not the children. Together, parents and I develop strategies for daily life while keeping the long-term goal of maturation always in mind.
My experience is that difficulties with children are rarely due to parents lacking in motivation - the parents I meet are all trying their hardest. The struggle is more a result of living in a society that doesn't understand attachment and development, with parents and children both feeling increasingly stressed by the pace and demands of life. We need to bring greater consciousness to parenting in order to help children feel safe, cared for, and understood. My goal is to help parents discover how they can meet these needs in their children within the context of our less-than-ideal society, and to soften the defences of children that often stand in the way of change. Seeing your child's true needs behind the smokescreen of their behaviour brings compassionate understanding. This is the place from which change can happen.
You do not need to know anything about the Neufeld approach before beginning work with me - all that is needed is a desire for growth.
"If people are good only because they fear punishment and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed." (attributed to) Einstein